On this busy day full of patriotic activities with friends and family, it behooves us to take a step back ...   more »

While summertime is in full swing in our sunny southern California corner of the world, our teenager is having his own version of summer; preparing for tests, working and vacationing at home will be all the summer fun under the sun he'll be having! As a junior in high school this fall he faces the most challenging time of his academic life. Once referred to as "the best time of your life", the high school years are now full of extra tests, extra course work (AP anyone?), and extra expense. Long gone are the days high school students could just get a summer job and forget about school for a couple of months. The prospect of preparing for the Scholastic Aptitude Test (SAT) for college, along with a slue of other tests kids will take during this third year in high school, is enough to make anyone shiver in the middle of July!

Deborah Collins, a counselor at our son's high school, gave an example of the test-taking schedule most high school students will have as juniors: "They take the PSAT (Pre-Scholastic Assessment Test) in October, and then take the SAT reasoning test in March, the ACT in April and the SAT subject tests in June. Students have an opportunity to retake these tests in the fall of their senior year."

Preparing for the SAT is essential to obtain the high scores needed in today's competitive college admissions process. Instead of paying for a private tutor or class to prepare our child for this important college pre-requisite, we purchased a 600 page SAT test-prep book published by a well-known scholastic company complete with seven, yes seven, practice tests. At the end of the seventh test, the last page exclaims: "Don't stop now. We've got even more great info on line". It also includes a DVD with even more material to cover, and an additional suggested list of books to read over the summer (this sure takes care of any summer leisure reading!). The good part about this type of course is that it can all be done at home.

A couple of weeks before school was out, our teenager went to a job fair and a series of job interviews; he filled out applications for the all-important character-building summer job, and passed the drug screening test. Two interviews later he got a job as a pool concierge at a local resort near our home. The resort is located within walking distance from our house, and just being there feels like a vacation. Sounds fun! We sure hope he sees it this way too because this was not a coincidence at all, but a very calculated move: no commuting involved!

Though our teenager drives, the fact that a tank of gas now costs more than $65 would mean that a good portion of his wages per week would go to pay for his transportation alone should he have chosen to work further away. When he considered this expense was close to the cost of a new video game, and almost the cost of a college application, walking to work won by a landslide.

As many families are doing this summer, we are also embracing the 'staycation' (vacation+stay=staycation). The de rigueur family summer road trip depicted in movies such as National Lampoons' Vacation, is closer to becoming just that: a movie! With our economy deteriorating, and the cost of gasoline now reaching $5 per gallon, it looks like the staycation will be popular with families this summer. Jeff Brown, a contributor for MSNBC.com wrote:  "In its annual summer vacation survey, the American Automobile Association said the average North American vacation will cost $244 per day for two people for lodging and meals." I'm glad our son will be procuring the towels and beach balls for those who can afford this per diem!

Adding to the staycation's appeal is the realization that for college-bound teens everything they do from now on really matters; what they participate in, how they spend their free time, and the jobs they choose are examined as something that could potentially help them or hinder them in an application to their dream college.

So, how could a job as a pool concierge look good on a college application? Perhaps if described as follows:

"I chose a job as a pool concierge because it was close to home so I could have more time to study for my PSAT, ACT and SATs, and also save the money I would have spent on gas to pay for my college application fees."

 All this while getting a tan? ... Smart kid!

The first day of summer is finally here, and your family is enjoying the languid, warm days with little to do. Just a few weeks into this long-awaited break and you hear it. No, I'm not referring to the usual "I'm board" summer anthem, instead your kids whine, "no, not again!" as the seasonal family reunion looms in the horizon.

Kids, especially teens, might think it's boring to be with people they only see once a year. Perhaps even if visiting with family once a week is a challenge, there's a great way to stop them from dreading these gatherings ... just let the games begin! If it's your turn to host the family picnic, make sure you organize some games the whole family can play, and you'll see what a difference a little Bingo can make.

I have never been one to segregate the children from the adults at family events, and have always looked for ways to be inclusive. Our multi-generation celebrations had to change once the children were no longer toddlers. Having a wide age range in one place for 4 to 5 hours at a time made for some uncomfortable moments between the adults who were trying to have conversations, and the kids who had nothing to do. Sound familiar? The key to harmonious reunions in our family has been to play games. Now, our family has found a way to be together while having fun and creating lasting memories!

In her blog post "20 Tween and Teen Conversation Starters", Vanessa Van Petten, author of "You're Grounded!", wrote that games can help with family communication: "The biggest problem is how to get us young people talking and engaged. I find that some of the best ways to do this is to play games like Scrabble, Clue or Sorry that you can all engage over the common game." Playing board games certainly contributes to family bonding, but playing physically or skill challenging games are also a great ice breaker and quickly unite a large group in uproarious laughter.

Keep in mind, that to successfully enjoy playing games during a gathering greatly depends on preparation and quantity. When planning, try to have more games than you'll need, and most importantly, take the time to prepare them; if you need to print up trivia sheets or set up a skill challenge, make sure you have what you need on hand so you don't break the momentum once the fun has started.

Here are some other helpful tips to successfully lead games:

*Form teams with equal numbers of both adults and kids.

*Write up trivia questions including things from both children and adult movies, TV shows or current events. This way they need each other to succeed.

*Have prizes. Anything from candy bars to $5 gift cards from Starbucks, Game Stop or Barnes and Noble work well. You can also ask everyone to bring a couple of gift cards or presents to use as prizes.

*If at home, use your yard as well as the living room. Try to plan several games to be played in succession once the group has settled in one area.

One more piece of advise, don't let anyone talk you out of playing. Teenagers will probably protest at first, but when they see how much fun everyone is having they will want to join in - at the very least, they'll want to get their hands on one of those gift cards!

Websites for games: http://www.partygamecentral.com/; http://www.party411.com/gameguide.html; http://party-games-etc.com/

Trivia websites: http://www.triviaplaying.com/; http://www.funtrivia.com/

Would you like to share a game or suggestion that worked for you and your family? Post it in the comments (requires registration) or send me an email. Thanks for reading!

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How timely! After posting the previous blog about the Jonas Brothers, they made a surprise appearance on May 19th at Adobe Bluffs Elementry School in San Diego, which apparently won an online contest. Can you imagine how exciting it must have been to have the most popular teen band in the United States actually performing on your own school's playground? But the serious kudos go to everyone who was able to keep this event such a guarded secret since it appears only the school children and a few locals were there.

These boys certainly like surprises because earlier this year they made another surprise visit at the Gibson Amphitheater in Los Angeles, while thousands of fans were waiting to purchase tickets for their concerts. This surprise visit was actually filmed as part of a promo for their When You Look Me in the Eyes tour.

Wouldn't it be great if the Jonas Brothers surprised all of their fans in San Diego by adding our city to their upcoming Burning Up tour schedule? Hint, hint ...

http://www.signonsandiego.com/news/northcounty/images/080519jonasfans.jpg

I was driving my daughter and her friends to the mall the other day, when I noticed an eerie silence in the car. When I looked behind me, I was surprised to see all four with their heads down and their eyes fixed on their tiny phone screens, fingers furiously pecking at the minute key pads. At first I thought it was a coincidence they were all replying to messages they had received from other friends, but then they all laughed at the same time and that’s when I knew something else was going on; they were texting each other and having a silent conversation so I couldn’t hear what they were discussing!

Boy, did I feel awkward having to remain silent the whole way to the shopping center. I suddenly knew what limousine drivers must feel when they are screened off from the back of the car. Isolated in the middle of a group of pre-teens, and all I could think of was how distasteful!

“Wait, this isn't right. That's actually rude! Isn’t it?” I thought to myself.

It's apparent we are losing yet another battle to technology. Among teenagers, oral communication, along with letter writing, is being replaced by typing - as fast as you can - to communicate among each other, and worse yet, about each other. Short, curt, and rude messages are being exchanged between friends, before school, at school and after school. It happens with rapid speed, and with no time for politeness or care for the ‘tone’ of the messages. Everything and everyone is material for the incessant need to text; what the girl standing next to you is wearing,  the ugly hair the teacher has today, or simply to say ‘I’m bored’. Texting has become the essential way to communicate among kids, especially teens.

What is a parent to do? Well, first and foremost, purchase unlimited texting from your provider because your child will run up a bill that’ll make you want to dip into the college fund to pay it off. Second, get a phone with a key pad for yourself and … start texting! If you want to stay in touch with your kids while they're out, just try texting instead of calling to see which one gets them to reply the fastest. Yes, I gave up on calling them because they just don’t want to be heard saying “yes, mom” in front of their friends. However, if after calling trying to find out who and where they're at fails, just text “cal in 5 mins or i cal the police!” Yes, this one really works for me.

Finally, when you’ve just about had it with the tiny keypad and cryptic writing, there is one redeeming quality to all this silence ... hear it? I didn’t think so.

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